Sibling Dynamics in Family Business: The Messy Middle (Part 2)

This is the second episode of a three-part series on sibling dynamics in family businesses. The conversation dives deeper into the complexities of family roles, the importance of communication (even poor communication), and how vulnerability and empathy become essential leadership tools when working with siblings. The episode explores the tension between family relationships and business responsibilities, revealing how the skills needed for Gen 1 success may be completely different from what Gen 2 requires. 

Show Notes 

In this revealing second episode of the sibling dynamics series, Andrea Carpenter continues her conversation with Shannon, Andrew, and Mark as they explore the messier, more vulnerable aspects of working with family. The discussion moves beyond role assignment into the emotional intelligence required to navigate complex family-business relationships. 

Shannon Schottler opens up about the sudden loss of her father and how their family lacked a crisis plan, leading to important reflections on how Gen 2 leadership requires different skills than Gen 1 - specifically collaboration and over-communication rather than the "charging like a bull" approach that built their farming operation. Andrew Salmon shares profound insights about empathy, describing his relationship with his brother as an "accordion" that stretches and contracts but ultimately creates harmony when both parties are vulnerable and give each other grace. 

Mark Mendes discusses the importance of teaching his children that "it's okay to fail" and how he's intentionally creating a different legacy than his father - one focused on preparing the next generation to "take the ball and run with it to higher levels." The conversation also tackles the impossible task of separating family and business relationships, with Andrew's honest admission: "How do you separate Shannon your sister from Shannon your boss? It's just not going to happen." 

Key topics covered include: 

• The difference between skills needed for Gen 1 vs Gen 2 success 
• Why poor communication is better than no communication 
• How family birth order and age gaps affect business dynamics 
• The role of empathy and vulnerability in family business leadership 
• Teaching the next generation to embrace failure as part of growth 
• Creating boundaries between family time and business discussions 
• How to be a "broker of agreements" rather than a peacemaker 
• The importance of giving family members grace and space to grow 
• Why everyone in family business is "chasing the same approval" 

The episode emphasizes that while family business relationships are inherently messy and complex, the key is moving from no communication to poor communication to better communication, all while building capacity to sit in discomfort as everyone levels up their skills. 

Chapters in this episode: 

00:00 The Importance of Legacy and Intentional Planning 

01:36 Understanding Individual Roles and Family Dynamics 

05:03 Empathy and Vulnerability in Leadership 

10:13 The Impact of Birth Order on Business Roles 

14:53 Communication Strategies for Family Businesses 

19:50 Balancing Family and Business Relationships 

Connect with Andrea Carpenter and Your Next Gen Friend:

Website: https://yournextgenfriend.com/

Your Next Gen Friend on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournextgenfriend/

Your Next Gen Friend on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@yournextgenfriend

Andrea on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreashaver/

Subscribe to "Your Next Gen Friend" on your favorite podcast player:

Spotify: https://yournextgenfriend.com/open-spotify

Apple Podcasts: https://yournextgenfriend.com/apple-podcast

 

 

Podcast theme music by Transistor.fm.